its not that i dont care when someones struggling in front of me. its because i dont know what to do that i stand idly by. people who rush to help without a second thought are kind, but not necessarily empathetic.
of course theyre well-meaning, but sometimes the fallen need to rise on their own would you deny them the chance to reach for independence? to prove their own inner strength? how much would it crush them if you did?
its painful to watch, but as a witness i do not flee. should they openly request aid, i would not hesitate to give it. but to take the initiative and offer of my own accord is a different matter. as always, i am afraid of rejection.
somehow when trying to imagine a perspective it always comes back to a personal viewpoint. and i realize that in their position only my pride would keep me from asking for help. i would silently try to deal with my problems on my own out of sheer stubbornness, but id only be delighted if someone were to lend a hand. knowing that this is what im like tears me apart, and i wonder who else shares this weakness. those who do not speak can expect no answer.
speculation about another persons psyche is like taking random stabs in the dark. nothings clear in the murky haze of possibilities. i will not act on an incomplete or unsure thought; i will not act at all. ill simply watch until the light flickers on.
yet after receiving so many disapproving glares from other bystanders, im beginning to think i just really dont understand people.